Three to one. My kids outnumber me three to one. Kids learn very quickly in two parent homes if they can pit one parent against the other. They test to see if they can pit divorced parent against each other.
And then they try other ways of power plays.
Some are subtle and some are more covert.
One subtle action is to all ask questions at the same time. If mom or dad answers what you want, even though the answer was to a different question, the child can say “but you said….” Tricky.
I learned to slow down and address the question I was answering. So instead of just saying “yes” or “no”. I’d say the child’s name and then specify what was yes or no. For example, “Yes, John, you may go to the movies with Matt.”
Then I would answer the questions of the other children in turn.
It is good to get input from the children. This is a good way to learn their likes and dislikes, teach them negotiating skills, and even get options you wouldn’t have thought of on your own.
However, make your decision and stick with it. It isn’t majority rule. You are the parent.
Have the kids figured out you are outnumbered? Have they been ruling the roost? Take some time and determine where you can start taking control. Start with some small changes and as they are implemented, make some bigger changes.
Laura
Primary Parenting On Purpose
laura@primaryparentingonpurpose.com
primaryparentingonpurpose.com
————————–
Tell me what is your biggest challenge as a single parent with being alone?
goto:
